Olivia Oster

how Long?

~ Job 19 ~

I want to carve this into stone, but

when chisel is poised on ready rock,

the accusers come to question again

and my mind blanks like

the stretching ocean on a calm day,

barely a ripple to disturb the sun glare.

I want to write this down, but

when I find my journal and pen

my pseudo-friends come to henpeck

and my mind blanks like

the piercing blue sky in Autumn,

no cloud to break the enchantment.

I want to type this out, but

when my fingers hit the keyboard

the hand of God strikes me

and my mind blanks like

a drive through Kansas:

wheat field upon wheat field,

the view the same left and right.

I want to publish this book, but

when I pour my words in to the brim

my skin turns feeble and my bones turn weak

and my mind blanks like

the cloudy night sky;

search as you will,

no hint of light comes through.

I want to doubt this God, but

when I go to question Him,

he stands up in the blank spaces,

walking the sea, thundering the sky,

offering the Bread, shining the Light

and my mind is full of the Living Redeemer.

Olivia Oster is a writer living on Lookout Mountain, GA, whose fiction and poetry explore  the spiritual aspect the elements of life with which she is most familiar: chronic pain, parenting, gardening, cooking, and homemaking. Olivia’s poetry has been published in The Reformed Journal, The Lake, and others. She has also published A New Grammary, a grammar book focusing on grammar formulas, and a poetry chapbook called Poetic Faith. Olivia is a teacher, wife, mother of five, and one who enjoys reading long novels while snuggled up with her rescued dachshund-beagle and chihuahua-mini-pinscher. Find her on instagram @Kingdomolivia.